The origins of Jesus Hates You Now can be traced to the University of California in San Diego during fall of 2005. A young man named Tristan Newcomb, a puppeteer and student with a notably deranged and surreal sense of humor, produced six episodes of the dubiously-titled show Live Hot Puppet Chat, and broadcast them on the university’s station late at night. Each episode had its own unique puppet host, and in between the bizarre skits, viewers would call in and ask questions (usually of an absurd or tasteless nature.) Due to a high volume of complaints about the show’s explicitly tasteless and often blasphemous content, and a few incidents in which students successfully broadcasted pornography over the channel, both Live Hot Puppet Chat and the university station were shut down.
Newcomb did not completely abandon his particular flavor of tasteless puppet humor, and continued making short films of a similar nature, some of which included the characters established in Live Hot Puppet Chat. The most controversial of these was Barry Bible – a repurposed Christian puppet, and the final nail in LHPC’s coffin. During Barry’s episode in the original show, he answers each caller’s question with an assumption of damnation and vivid descriptions of what would be done to them in this undesirable afterlife. In 2013, Newcomb released his own Barry-centered feature-length film entitled Jesus Hates You Now.
The setup is relatively simple. A young man named Kevin who recently escaped from a cult is strapped to a chair as he watches a disturbing “reprogramming” video starring Barry Bible, the implied cult leader, after being dosed with LSD. We quickly learn that the video is a creation of Dr. Gavin H. Grant, played by Newcomb, whose intention is to patent his deprogramming technique, which involves creating media that seems to come from the cult itself, but paints them in a negative and highly-abusive light. The film constantly goes back and forth between Dr. Grant’s interactions with both Kevin and the audience, and the video that Kevin is watching.
Barry Bible’s character is calmly and politely menacing, and he delivers an increasingly maltheistic (or dystheistic) lecture that often digresses into taunting monologues regarding the removal of Kevin’s penis. Along the way, Barry makes many negative accusations against God, who is portrayed by a mute puppet that seems to have been recently salvaged from a dumpster. These portions tend to be the most quotable parts of the film, and they’re accompanied by some incredibly strange footage, the nature of which is difficult to describe in words.
Newcomb’s not-so-subtle commentary on the nature of God was a little more nuanced than I expected going in. Instead of the usual adolescent “baby’s first intro to anti-theism” lecture in which a man-child proudly proclaims that he rejects Pascal’s Wager as if it were a buzzword at the forefront of every human’s mind, Newcomb uses Barry to comment on the dark nature of omniscience. He asks us to consider that if God knows all, including the past/present/future, then we have never possessed free will. Even as Barry strategizes about how to trick God, he comes up with no solutions, because God would be one step ahead of him. This analysis of predestination continues throughout.
Unfortunately, Jesus Hates You Now is a very low-budget production. When Newcomb is on camera, and during the frame story, it really shows. The un-cinematic feel is akin to the some of the better student film submissions I’ve received in the past through River Bend Film Festival, and while it’s not terrifyingly bad visually, it’s a little hard to overlook those particular flaws.
It feels wrong for my primary criticism to involve the filmmaker’s lack of resources, because what’s been accomplished here is, at least in my opinion, quite exceptional…in regard to the Barry portions. The rest of the film registers as “fine,” but Barry’s diatribes and absurd tauntings are simultaneously hilarious and genuinely disturbing. There may be an excessive focus on penis jokes, but at least there’s a plot-specific reason for this.
As Jesus Hates You Now progresses, it becomes increasingly off-putting. It’s the kind of film that I certainly expect most viewers to turn off after less than ten minutes, but at the same time, it’s a borderline-Dadaist journey into the absurdities of traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs that uses its psychotic tendencies to shed light on the obvious but oft-overlooked logical fallacies of this particular brand of Theism. And I LOVE IT.
Going back to Live Hot Puppet Chat for a minute, there was one nagging suspicion that could have easily devalued this for me. I have been a fan of the show Wonder Showzen for a very long time. I consider it my favorite television program aside from Twin Peaks. While the premise of the show isn’t quite the same as Newcomb’s work, and Wonder Showzen tends to be more anti-capitalist than anti-religious, there are still some striking similarities.
Wonder Showzen is, structurally, almost exactly like Sesame Street, if Sesame Street were produced in hell. Using puppets, children, animation, stock footage, and a hefty dose of surreal humor, the show manages to lampoon even the most sensitive of subjects. It’s also very, very random and chaotic, with little sketches strewn throughout, many of which last only a few seconds. For example, a child reading this aloud is an entire sketch:
The majority of the plot of each episode involves a recurring cast of puppets, and Barry would fit very nicely in this bunch…suspiciously so. The first episode of Wonder Showzen aired on March 11, 2005 on MTV2, and the first episode of Live Hot Puppet Chat aired in September of 2005 – a six-month gap. LHPC was clearly aimed at the same college-age audience that would have potentially been aware of Wonder Showzen, as MTV2 was at the height of its popularity. Newcomb’s show feels like the work of a student inspired by Wonder Showzen, and if this is true, it makes LHPC and Jesus Hates You Now seem a bit lazy and derivative, especially since the latter came out long after Wonder Showzen was cancelled, and had already experienced a cult second-wind in the form of a DVD release. Ultimately, the parallels don’t bother me too much, as this could be coincidence, but it’s certainly an influence worth noting. At least, this was my perspective initially…
When I publish these reviews, I do so with the realistic expectation that very few human beings will ever read them. Unlike some of the most popular and prolific film critics out there, I have no real industry connection in the slightest. For these reasons, I’ve never felt that reaching out to a filmmaker with a question would be a worthwhile endeavor. There’s also such a long history of animosity between the creator and the critic, and the fact that I often review “so-bad-they’re-good” films makes that dynamic even trickier.
The case of Tristan Newcomb is quite different. His work has gained some notoriety in various niche corners of the internet, but he’s not what you’d consider a celebrity. This isn’t the most obscure film I’ve reviewed on this site, but it’s close. However, by my recollection, this is the first time I’ve written about a film uploaded directly to YouTube by the director himself…with an open comments section that he semi-regularly replies to. This shit doesn’t happen every day, so I knew this would be a special opportunity. Here’s how I squandered that and made myself look like an ass:
Newcomb is absolutely correct. It hadn’t even occurred to me that filthy puppets in general were in vogue at the time, and that Wonder Showzen’s influence was likely indirect. I suppose ultimately, creating a solid connection between the two was wishful thinking. I definitely see the Svankmajer influence, and his reference to Clokey prompted some compelling research…which may be a story for another day.
To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve ever been so excited to be wrong (or at least somewhat inaccurate.) If Newcomb were to reach out to me for an interview, I’d probably shit my pants in absolute ecstasy, and be left to wallow in my own unpleasantly-fragrant mess for several minutes before regaining my composure. If you happen to be reading this – please, Tristan! Soil my drawers! I can afford a new wardrobe.
While this isn’t likely to appeal to everyone, it’s definitely notable for what it is. If what you’ve read has piqued your curiosity, you’re in luck – the creator himself uploaded Jesus Hates You Now to his own YouTube channel, and you can watch it for free right now.
7/10