After Last Season is by far the worst film I have ever seen. As someone who actively hunts down fantastically awful movies, this is a strong statement.
Its history is almost as odd as the film itself. Prior to its release, a mysterious trailer appeared on iTunes for a film that looked like yesterday’s garbage, and definitely didn’t belong alongside featured trailers for high-budget blockbusters. Because of how vague and strange the trailer was, it sparked some pretty interesting speculation. Rumors spread that it was a part of a viral marketing campaign by Spike Jonze in order to promote his upcoming Where the Wild Things Are adaptation, a theory that to this day makes absolutely no sense to me. When the film was finally released, it played in a few theaters on the east/west coast. After a very brief run, these theaters were instructed to burn all prints of the film rather than waste the postage it would take to send them back.
The other aspect that makes After Last Season’s history so dubious is its budget, which is listed as $5,000,000. In an interview with the director, Mark Region, he claims that it took about $30,000-$40,000 to actually shoot the film, but the animated segments were what allegedly brought the total budget to $5 mil. Here is one of the best-looking frames from aforementioned animated segment.
Yes, this is one of the most elaborate animations in this sequence, which last about 15-20 minutes, and is insufferably boring. You can’t tell me this cost $5 million.
The film itself is technically incompetent in so many humorous ways. Blank 8 1/2 by 11 paper is practically a supporting character, since the entire set is covered in it, and printer paper has as much personality as any of the actors. Sometimes, when the film needs a sign posted on the wall, there will be a blank sheet of paper, with text obviously superimposed over it. Yes, they didn’t even bother to print words on this paper. There’s an MRI machine made of cardboard, and covered in paper, obviously filmed in what looks to be a child’s bedroom, as we can see small shoes on the ground in the background. In half of the conversations, it’s very clear that the actors aren’t even in the same room. This is “compensated for” by editing dialog scenes in a pattern I have never come across before. The camera focuses on person A, then person B, then person A, then a random piece of furniture or a door, then person B, then a window, and back to person A. It’s not even interesting furniture. I suppose the film is supposed to take place in a medical school, or something like that, and there is a bulletin board shown at one point that is apparently a general event announcement sort of thing. The most prominent event posted? “Pineapple Club.” I can only imagine what pineapple club is, but it can’t be good.
After about 45 minutes of nothing, two of the characters sit down and have an actual conversation. There is a killer on the loose, and the female “lead” is apparently having visions of the killer before these murders happen. There’s an experimental device that allows one person to roughly see visualizations of another’s thoughts. This device is supposed to be a microchip applied to the temple; it is a sticker. The animated segment is the two characters experimenting with this device, and eventually images of the killer appear. Then objects begin lazily moving by themselves, a few people end up dead for some reason, and the movie ends by “revealing” that the entire film was a dream. I say “revealing” loosely, because I had to read multiple plot synopses to figure this out.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the abysmal dialog:
“Matthew Andrews: So, picture a flat surface. Out of the surface, one letter rises.”
“Sarah Austin: From the alphabet?”
“Matthew Andrews: Yes.”
“Matthew Andrews: They’ve got, uh, printers in the basement you can use.”
“Sarah Austin: I’ve never been TO that town, but I’ve been through it.”
There’s something extremely intriguing about After Last Season. Who on earth would direct a film this awful, and attempt a WIDE RELEASE?! How could this cast and crew (yes, there WAS a crew) agree to be a part of this project? Where did the rest of the budget go? WHAT IS PINEAPPLE CLUB? What kind of monster would bring this half-baked abortion of a movie into the outside world?
After Last Season is an absolute must for those who appreciate the value of absurdly awful cinema, and at least up until recently, it wasn’t difficult to find it in its entirety on YouTube. Share it with your friends without warning. Watch it with someone who appreciates your friendship more than you appreciate theirs. Burn it to DVD, and slip it under the doors of your enemies.
0/10